My name is Mariusz. I developed a mental illness over a dozen years ago. For the first time I was in a closed ward of a psychiatric hospital. I am diagnosed with a paranoid schizophrenia. Now I am in the best shape I have ever been since my
diagnosis. Before the diagnosis when I was healthy, music was my biggest passion. I learned how to beatbox. It is about making different sounds through the mouth. What else can I say? When I came to Jedlicze I was in not very good mental
condition, I went there immediately after hospitalization and learned what a stable is and what systematic and thorough work is. I was slowly introducing myself and volunteering. I helped the chief groom who works here, Mr. Staś.
I used to come (to the stable) every day. You know, here all the classes are part of occupational therapy. I started learning. I learned what a pyrograph is. A pyrograph is a soldering iron-like device which allows to burn patterns in
wood. This is called pyrography. You can make pictures on wood like you make on canvas. This is what I learned there. A little-known activity, but interesting and very fascinating. You can find yourself. Meanwhile, when I was volunteering
I tried pyrography in occupational therapy.
I also like coloring books for adults. It was some form of therapy, a springboard from reality, from illness and some bad thoughts. And in the meantime, it turned out that there was the first project (internship program) and I needed to prepare
because I would have a job, a job for people with schizophrenia. I became a groom's helper. I was taking care of my horses then. I fed them, took them out. And also, thanks to the fact that I stayed there, I learned how to ride a horse.
We also were going to the forest for horse riding trips. Maybe a lot of people can envy me, but I am diagnosed with schizophrenia. I used to go there (to the forest) with therapists who weren't mentally ill. It was very nice and colorful
and fun. These are very nice memories. Now I have stopped horse riding. I have a lot of work. As it stands, my job is in the kitchen. I am a warehouse keeper helper. And I also struggle with various things at work. I work with colleagues
who are a little more sick or are in a slightly worse mental state. But well, somehow we manage everything. Generally, when I finally got another job in the stable, as a stable worker, I stack up some money. I collected my (music) equipment.
Speaking of this beatbox, the equipment for recording, for creating music. The original plan was to record beatbox, throw some vocals, just create something nice. Unfortunately it didn't work out. I started singing without beatboxing.
It was hard for me to record it, I didn't know how to do it. I didn't have any teacher, but things started to work out nicely. I mean vocal and so on, but I wanted to go further and asked my employer to fund me a music making course. I attend
it once a week now. One meeting lasts three hours and somehow I am managing. I am diagnosed with schizophrenia, but you can do anything if you really want. I also think that some people can do the greatest things, even when they are sick.
In addition, I have won the art competition "How do I see freedom. Freedom through the eyes of a schizophrenic patient”. I won second place there. I created an image using the method of pyrography. There (on image) is a horse flying towards
the sky. And the inscription: "freedom is like the wind". The point is, that freedom is very fickle, but everything can change fast, just like with disease. I couldn't keep the work as a stable worker, because the disease let me down a
bit, but it was more physical because I had back pain. Maybe I also felt weak mentally.
I just didn't hold on (in the job). I couldn't. And then, with this pyrography, I just thought maybe something about wood. And then I started participating (in course), I managed, even before the coronavirus to achieve my goal. It was about
(the course) renovation of furniture and antiques. It lasted three days, each day for 10 hours in a row. I was gonna start a furniture job or something, but it just didn't work out. Fortunately, I work in the kitchen now.
Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's harder, but it's actually good, I don't complain. I have a contract for a year, for a part time job (0.75 time of full time job). Those who work with me are healthy people, they have an attention
that I may feel bad, I can have ups and downs sometimes. It is known that everyone can feel worse, and the mentally ill person can feel worse more often, but I think we are all the same. I also wanted to say that my next achievement
in my music production, after completing the equipment, is that I created a music album called "F20 Yellow Pages of Paper" (F20 is code for Schizophrenia in International Classification of Diseases called ICD). It is an album, the
songs are about the patient's perception of reality. I wanted to quote a fragment, or rather a dedication, which is on this album. It is for the mentally ill, for both: those who are diagnosed and those who do not realize that they are
also sick and also for those who think they are healthy. After all, we are all equal. Well, that's all I have to say. Thank you. Greetings.
