My nameis Marzena and I am 47. All I have achieved in my life, was when I became mentaly ill. I try to explain my children, that mental illness is not a life sentence. You can live normal life with it.
I have so many interests,
such as history of art, drawing, painting or digital creative art. I love cycling and hiking. I constantly set new goals and challenge myself. Now I work towards reducing my weight. My only dream I have not fulfilledyet is gaining my driving
license. For now I just want to live ordinary life, to make my dreams come true and my plans to be complete.
Difficult beginnings
When I was 5, I have stayed with my grandparents in the countryside. It was wonderful time. Butlifebecame more difficult –struggling with my toxic parents and the toxic relationships, communism collapsed andthe capitalistic transformation
started, I haveexperienced difficulties in finding a job. I have tried different jobs, such as babysitting and cleaning. All this stress and dailypressure contributed to my mental illness. I had my first episode when I was 27. My diagnosis
was multiplex psychotic disorder with schizophrenic elements. I felt broken. For next 3 years I couldn’t accept my mental illness, I lost friends and colleagues.
After my first admission to a mental hospital I ended up
in a women’s shelter. This was not for a long time, as my social worker told me about The Friends of Disabled Society (TPN). After a consultation I was accepted to sheltered accommodation in Jedlicze.
Life changing moment
Jedlicze was the beginning of my adventure with TPN, and it has lasted 20 years now. My first job there was working in a stable with horses. I was grooming them cleaning their hoofs. I then worked in a kitchen but I did not like that job.
I was working for the short time as a buffet server as well. The manager then offered me an administrational job and I carry on in this role till today. Meanwhile I have got my flat in Baluty district in Lodz and I have become independent.
Remembering
Jedlicze, it was such a lovely time: walks in the forest, bonfire, fun. I feel that I grew a lot emotionally. But at that time, I underestimated my illness and stopped to take my medication. In 2005 I met my future husband, I became
pregnant and I still did not take medication. After my daughter was born, I was very ill, I could not come back to mental balance for 3 years. In 2010, I got married, we bought a house and started long term renovation. When complete,
I was pregnant again, with a son. I stopped to take medication again. My pregnancy was in danger and I started to experience psychotic symptoms. It was a very tough time for my Family. Last time I ended up in a mental hospital was
after giving birth to my son. From that time on I have been well and I do take my medication.
Since then I have gone to a college and gained an archivist diploma. Now, I study computer graphics, and I am in second year.
I
am very grateful to my work. It gave me reason to come back to life, I have developed as a person, colleague and a worker. I do take my medication regularly and I do not try any experiments (stopping medication). I know I have got
mental illness and I need to take medication to be a wife, a mother, a worker.
I do try my best to live my life according St Augustine of Hippo words: ”You are a winner, as long as you are fighting” and I do wish you to
do so as well, with all of my heart.